Devil Camp
NOT for the faint of heart! Due to the extreme physical, spiritual and psychological danger involved, and the fact that some students may not survive the course, we do not accept students under the age of ten. This is not voodoo, hoodoo or some silly whitey-lighty Wicca bullshit.
NOT for the faint of heart! Due to the extreme physical, spiritual and psychological danger involved, and the fact that some students may not survive the course, we do not accept students under the age of ten. This is not voodoo, hoodoo or some silly whitey-lighty Wicca bullshit.
How is this different from the other Devil Camps I've seen on the internet?
Our Devil Camp is way more dangerous and much more grueling. Also, we're sure you're aware that some of our competitors run devil camps designed to turn children away from the weak, stupid religion of their parents and teach them to worship the devil. These other camps usually go a step further, teaching children how to sell their soul to the Devil and make sacrifices in return for earthly success. While this might seem like a good thing on the surface, we believe you should never bow down to ANYONE, especially supernatural beings, and never make sacrifices. Sacrifices are for weaklings! At our Devil Camp, we don't teach you to worship or bargain with the Devil - we teach you to make the Devil worship YOU and more importantly, how to force the Devil to give you all the things you want! Our philosophy is, "Takers don't bargain, sacrifice or compromise. Takers take!"
Our Devil Camp is way more dangerous and much more grueling. Also, we're sure you're aware that some of our competitors run devil camps designed to turn children away from the weak, stupid religion of their parents and teach them to worship the devil. These other camps usually go a step further, teaching children how to sell their soul to the Devil and make sacrifices in return for earthly success. While this might seem like a good thing on the surface, we believe you should never bow down to ANYONE, especially supernatural beings, and never make sacrifices. Sacrifices are for weaklings! At our Devil Camp, we don't teach you to worship or bargain with the Devil - we teach you to make the Devil worship YOU and more importantly, how to force the Devil to give you all the things you want! Our philosophy is, "Takers don't bargain, sacrifice or compromise. Takers take!"
Another huge difference between our Devil Camp and our competitor camps is the caliber of students we attract and admit into our program. Whereas our competitors tend to attract the typical emo-goth-wannabe, "outsider" type student, we have much higher standards, admitting only the most attractive and talented students into our programs.
More about the Devil Camp experience:
- During the course you'll live at the school, which is an abandoned lunatic asylum.
- On the first day of the course, you’ll dig up a dead body from the asylum cemetery, burn the casket and use the empty grave as your sleeping quarters for the duration of the course.
- Our students learn to dig up graves, burn down churches, carve ancient symbols into their flesh and invite demons in to possess their body.
- Become a Master of Blasphemy
- Learn to speak in the language of demons and raise the dead in the name of the devil
- Take up venomous serpents and handle them during religious services just like the old-time Kentucky pastors!
- Historically, a small percentage of Devil Camp students (and a few instructors) have died of exposure or drowned while sleeping in an empty grave or have been lost in the wilderness.
- Most students will suffer some degree of permanent psychological damage due to working with the demons.
When are we coming to your town? We're already in your town, but don't even think about looking for us. We'll send meetup instructions to you, either through back-masked messages in your favorite songs or directly to your mind when you least expect it. If you can't hear the messages you're not Devil Camp material.
Successful Devil Camp Graduate: Stacie was a pretty girl from an upper-middle class family who got good grades in school and was captain of her cheer leading squad. One day, at church, while everyone else was speaking in tongues, she heard a voice call to her, Stacie, come join us for The Reaper's Feast in the 7th Hell! So she did. After graduating from Devil Camp, Stacie moved out of her parents house and married a half-man/half-goat creature that lived in a dumpster behind the Veteran's Hospital. She immediately became pregnant, and while the goat-man's vile seed grew inside of her, Stacie survived by eating dumpster rodents and food stolen from hospital patients.
One of the advantages of living behind a hospital is that there's always a source of free, discarded needles, and Stacie injected herself with every substance that was available. She changed her name to Magdaatha, Mother of Filth, and just 30 days after becoming pregnant, a 25 pound baby with horns and cloven hooves crawled out of her womb and attacked her. Fortunately, Animal Control officers were on hand to seize the baby, which they immediately destroyed. Stacie/Madaatha eventually left the dumpster and currently lives in an empty warehouse. She is a senior instructor at Devil Camp, and in her free time she enjoys fighting on the underground bare knuckle circuit.
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